Increasing intelligence through telepathy

I couldn't figure out how come I knew the answer in the classroom, but at home... nothing! 
Turned out I was tapping into the smartness of everyone else. 

When I studied aromatherapy, I seemed to have an affinity for the oils. The teacher would ask 'What oil would we use for adrenal fatigue?' and I would pipe up 'lemon.' Later he'd ask 'What if I had a gall bladder attack?' and I’d say 'peppermint.' This happened every class and I got 90% for that subject. 

I would think, 'gee I’m smart, but how did I know that?'

When I went to Griffith uni, it was the end of year and I was exhausted. The student next to me asked 'ready for the exam?'

 'What exam?'

She showed me the book; I’d never seen it before. 

'Shit!’

About ten minutes into the exam, I had a brainwave of the answer, it was something that happened in America in the 40s. 'Wow’ I thought. 'I’m so smart.' 

Half the students (over 100) failed that test. I passed with a credit. 

'How did I do that?' I wondered. 

Another time I was in a seminar and the presenter asked 'what does teeth and heart attacks have in common?' 

'They share plaque,' I answered. 'Yes’ he said. I must have read that somewhere? 

One day I realised I was picking up the answers from the people around me with my intuition...I wasn’t smart at all… the people around me were smart!

So when I went back to Uni to do an English Literature and creative writing degree, I had to do all my work from home. 

It was hard! I struggled, I cried, ‘I don't get it’ I said.

‘How about I make it more simple.’ Teacher said.

I pretended to understand.

‘Sorry to make it so easy,’ she said, ‘I don’t want to insult you.’

Insult me! I thought, please! What happened to my brains?

The creative writing was easy; making up a story? No problem. Explaining something? Reading something through a feminist lens?  Huh? Or a Marxist lens, Marxist who?  

How can I be so dumb and so smart at the same time?

I was complaining to my friend Arna, ‘I’m sure I have a learning difficulty,’ I said. ‘Every semester I feel so stupid, I want to quit.’

She said, ‘light your brain up with a brilliant violet light and let every part be smart.’

Well that sounded easier than knocking my head on a wall. ‘Okay’ I said.

So I went to uni with a purple light on my head (don’t knock it till you try it) and

 the ANSWER came to me!!! I could tap into the professor’s brain and get the answers!!!

I picked a Thursday night to begin the assignment due on Monday (why do I wait so long?)  

I visualised myself visiting Professor. She was in her kitchen making dinner for her family

‘May I borrow your brain?’ I asked like Dr. Frankenstein. What if she starts laughing at stupid jokes and painting pictures? And I start talking eloquently?

I hesitate with my hands around her brain- I do have compassion. look, she has a daughter.  Mm, spaghetti for dinner… I don’t want to deprive her of all she’s worked for…. I know, another brain wave. I’ll copy and paste, that way, she gets to keep her brain and I just get smarter. ‘Thanks Professor,’ I say as I clicked the ‘copy’ button in the ether.

I carried that big brain into my office and put it on. Paste!

The world looked sharper. I was hungry.

I re-read the assignment.

You know, this text has many undertones! Hey? Where did that voice come from? I’m thinking it’s a post-modern colonialism text. No, wait, it’s a post modern feminist Marxist text. Now you’re being ridiculous. Look at the subtext, read it again.

I did my assignment over the weekend and it was kind of fun.

I handed it in and thought ‘well, let’s see what professor thinks of her own work.’

She gave me a credit. My FIRST for a critical piece.

Hurray!! I said.

I passed by her the other day and wanted to thank her for loaning me her brain. ‘But she might think I’m a bit weird,’ I thought. ‘Better not.’ So I just smiled and said hello. She smiled.

‘Thanks for the spaghetti recipe,’ I whispered. ‘It was delicious.’

Monica