Three weeks after we met, he proposed.
I was a single mum of two beautiful girls, and we'd been living without a man for over 10 years.
I kept saying it wasn’t my fault. I'd meet someone and either they didn’t love me, or I didn’t love them. They had other reasons, it just didn’t work. I wasn’t ready. They weren’t ready blah blah…
I was lonely.
I was sad.
Being a mum made it harder. I didn’t want to hurt the kids, or myself.
I’d been practicing personal development for years; I had counselling, kinesiology, meditation, and affirmations. I read books… I did everything I could to grow, and all of it worked. I felt better, my life improved and I was learning to love me.
But I was still single.
I was approaching my 40th birthday, I was in Coles car park and I said to my friend Arna ‘enough!’ I’m full to the top and I can’t wait any longer. Tell me what to do.’
‘Well’ she said, ‘my mums friend just wrote a magic diary. She wrote everything she wanted each day as though it was already happening.’
I loved the idea.
‘Great’ I said. ‘I’m doing it.’
As a writer with a vivid imagination, it suited me perfectly.
That afternoon I took Rusty for a walk. But what I wrote in my diary was: ‘my man and I took Rusty for a walk. We went along the waterfront and had a romantic evening together.’
My girl’s grandparents came to visit and helped me fix some things. But I wrote in my diary: ‘my girl’s grandparents came to visit. My beautiful man and I invited them to stay for a bbq and had a nice meal on the back deck.’
My girls and I lived in a tiny 50-year-old fishing cottage on a small income. I had become used to budgeting and going without. In my diary I started writing about the home my man and I would share with my girls.
I wrote how we enjoyed our home with a swimming pool, the pool table, the back deck, the bbq and how much fun we had together. I wrote how he surprised me with jewellery and how loving and kind he was. I wrote how connected we were. I wrote and I wrote and I wrote. I enjoyed this exercise so much that I wrote snippets all day after everything I did. It was so much fun. I didn’t know this at the time, but I know now that I was in the vortex and the vibration of allowing.
As an intuitive person, I prayed to be given an idea of what ‘this’ man would look like. I was tired of blind dates and men I would never see again.
A rush of information came to me and I wrote them down. ‘6 ft., brown hair, blue eyes, clean shaven, nice smile, Italian, non smoker, builder, around my age.’ Okay what’s his name? I rattled off a few names and whenever I said ‘Andrew’, I got a ‘cha ching’ feeling. Okay, I thought. His name is probably Andrew.
I created a new post on RSVP.
I put up a nice photo… wrote a few lines and got a few responses. They didn’t fit the description I was expecting so I said ‘no thanks.’
Three weeks after beginning my journal I got a short email, ‘hi, my name is Andrew and I am a friendly man, looking to help someone’s dreams come true.’
I clicked on his profile. 6ft, brown hair, blue eyes, clean-shaven, lovely smile, building industry, German, close to my age.
I wrote back and gave him my number.
He rang immediately and we spoke for an hour, we had so much in common with our German backgrounds and parents.
We met one week later. He was lovely, and even though he fitted 99% of what I was asking, I had been broken hearted too many times to believe it could happen so quickly. ‘He’s nice,’ I thought. ‘But I still don’t know.’
We had a second date 3 days later and I started to feel like I’d known him for years. On the third date he kissed me and I could feel my heart racing.
By the second week of meeting I realised we were on a fast moving train that I couldn’t stop. The kids liked him and said ‘I think he’s the one, mum.’ He proposed on our third week together and the kids jumped up and down on the lounge saying ‘say yes mum say yes.’
We bought a house that same week. It was two storeys with a back deck for a BBQ. A big swimming pool (I’d always wanted a swimming pool). A rumpus room with a pool table, polished floors and timber blinds. And although we couldn’t afford it, and we didn’t know each other, it felt so right we did it.
The real estate agent came over to Andrew’s for us to sign the contract.
‘Would you like a coffee?’ I asked. Oh no, I thought, where are the cups?
‘Yes please,’ said Ian.
I opened the cupboard slowly. I wouldn’t dare ask Andrew where he kept the cups, or coffee.
Papers signed, we organised the loan and a 90 day contract (so we could get to know each other) and began our courtship.
We moved into our dream home 3 months later and began an unfamiliar life.
It wasn’t an easy transition, I had gotten what I wanted but we still had to learn about each other, how to relate, how to communicate and I had never really been in a committed relationship, so there was much to learn. There was so much of me that felt ‘not good enough’ so I continued my journey of personal development, and we never gave up on each other.
This year we celebrate 10 years of that first meeting.
We’ve gone through ups and downs. Our girls have grown up and we now have grandchildren. We still have lots in common and get on better now that we’ve grown than we did when it was all roses and sunshine.
In the last few years we’ve used ‘the law of attraction’ to improve our jobs, our income and our relationship.
I told him about my magic diary showed him the date and inside there were many things I had to read twice and look at the date to see if I wrote it because it happened, or because I wanted it too.
He keeps asking me why I can’t manifest lotto, and I say it doesn’t seem to work like that (I’ve tried!)
I am now in the process of manifesting my dream career as an author and artist and I can feel that same vortex rushing through me.
I am forever grateful for that window of allowing I moved into. Resistance was futile. I had created what I wanted, and then I had to learn to embrace a better life. Change my mind. Change my brain. Become the person I said I wanted to be.
Andrew and I are enjoying our lives and each other, we support our children and the little ones, he has learned to embrace yoga and I am learning to like cars and motorbikes. We laugh at lots of things. He is kind and generous. He wrote something in his profile that he really meant: ‘I want to help someone’s dreams come true.’ He has proven that over the years by financially backing my books, by taking me to Europe to meet my brother in Germany, and standing by me as I grew my yoga business.
I’m hoping to start a new chapter where Andrew gets to have what he wants: freedom and a fast car. I told him ‘think about the car of your dreams and it will come to you.’
I am certain I could have missed this opportunity and continued on the path of ‘it isn’t my fault’ If I hadn’t let go and allowed.
If you are looking for your soul-mate, here is the summary of the things I did to help my manifestation.
The details of manifesting:
1. Write what you want as though it’s real.
My magic Diary was just part of it. It had to FEEL real, so to make it feel real I wrote about things that actually happened so my brain was on ‘truth’ then I slipped in what I wanted to happen, so it could slide into my subconscious and become a part of my reality. Once something is part of your subconscious reality, it has to manifest.
2. It was fun.
Fun helps you believe. Belief helps you manifest.
3. Commit to yourself.
Several months before I met Andrew, I realised it was me that had the commitment issues. So I bought myself a ring and married myself. I had a commitment ceremony and promised I would take better care of me.
4. Honour yourself:
I stopped doing things that made me sad, bad, mad or unworthy.
I didn’t stop all at once, I used my feelings as a guide as to what I liked, and what I didn’t like. I drew on my courage to stand up and change things one at a time. I used perseverance to never give up, and faith that it was possible. I kept reminding myself that if it can happen for someone else, it can happen for me.
5. Never give up on personal growth.
I still have counselling, kinesiology and hypnotherapy when I need it, to help change my brain and life. I use yoga and mediation as affirmations and I journal on what I want. I trust my intuition and use my feelings as a guide to what is working, and what isn’t.
For the last three years I’ve been listening to and following ‘The Law of Attraction’ by Abraham-Hicks.
Keep the friends that believe in you. Let go of the ones who wont. Decide who to spend your time with.
7. Love yourself
Loving yourself isn’t about vanity. It’s about looking after your needs in a kind and caring way. Speak to yourself as though you were precious and amazing, because you are.
8. Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want.
Focus on what you want, believe you can have it, and take the steps that are revealed to you to receive. Trust your intuition to guide you.
9. Look after your brain and body
You cannot live a healthy happy life by eating unhealthy food and thinking unhappy thoughts. You cannot change your life by living the life you don’t want. You have to become the person you say you want to be. Your brain and body (and what you attract) will change in accordance to what you feed it.
Eat whole, healthy foods and stay away from anything artificial or processed, as they will affect your brain and emotions. Meditate to keep your happy hormones high. Practice exercise you enjoy. Focus on positive affirmations. Paste affirmations all over your house. Pay attention to the words you use and use positive self-talk. Let your feelings guide you. When you feel bad, that is an indicator that you are thinking about thoughts that don't serve your highest good. Look for something inside your situation that you can focus on that makes you feel better.
You can begin your transformation of what you want this minute. Don’t give up because it’s hard. Living the life you don’t want is way harder. Never give up on yourself. Do something everyday, and soon, very soon, maybe as soon as three weeks, you could be living something you’ve been wanting for years.
Monica is a full time author, artist and yoga teacher.
If you like my blogs, I would appreciate you sharing them with your friends. Thank you
I'm a self-employed yoga teacher, author and artist. I live on the beautiful northern bays of Brisbane. In 2008 I decided to stop talking about what I wanted, and do it!
Blogs by Monica
Growing Emotional Intelligence