Dad on Anzac Day
Monica Batiste My dad was a soldier, from the day he enlisted till the day he died; the army was his blood. On Anzac morning, at four years old, I would run to the front of the house to watch my dad and the marching band go by. I couldn’t wait until I was old enough to join him. From eight I would be wearing beanies and leg warmers to keep out the cold, too young to join them for breakfast. Dad fought in Korea, Malaysia and Vietnam. He left for Vietnam when I was 2. I don’t remember him leaving, but I remember him coming home. I was 3 and there was a big kerfuffle about getting to the airport to bring daddy home. I wondered what a daddy was. We went on a big tarmac and two soldiers came towards us, I tugged on my mothers hand ‘which one is my daddy?’ A big man scooped me into his arms and held me for the longest time. He was awarded a bronze star from the US government for bravery. His friends stood at his funeral and talked about how he held back enemy fire all night to save their lives. An old soldier knelt at his grave and poured a bottle of rum into the earth. ‘This is for you Blacky,’ he said. ‘Thanks.’ ‘It’s the nightmares’ he told me, opening a can of beer, ‘that make it the hardest. I saw things in Vietnam that I want to forget.’ He never did forget but he never told us either. Of all the wars and bullets my father dodged it was the surgeon’s knife that killed him. We held a funeral befitting a soldier and much loved man. I’ll always remember how he woke us with a whistle and a dance on Saturday mornings. How he claimed ice cream after 10pm had no calories. How he pondered the meaning of life. The bugle played ‘The Last Post’ at his funeral, so on Anzac morning as I march in his honour with his medals on my heart, I think of my dad. I march for my dad. I march for peace. I march for all of the soldiers that were willing to make that sacrifice. Rest in Peace Dad. We love you.
Moni and Mac went up in a plane
They tumbled out with a 'chute Moni and Mac sailed back to earth It really was a hoot
March 24th 2012. Monica Batiste.
Skydiving was not one of things I dreamt of, but I’d been watching them sail onto our Suttons beach whilst we did yoga, and it looked so joyful. ‘I have an idea,’ I said to my class one day. ‘I’m going to parachute to class.’ ‘Great idea’ said Peggy, ‘and you can tandem with my hubby, he’s one of the sky divers here.’ ‘Awesome.’ And so it was set for my birthday in 2012. For the rest of that year I watched them glide and heard the ‘woohoo’s whilst we did meditation and Namaste. The year rolled into 2012. At midnight I sat up in bed and gasped, ‘This year I’m jumping out of a plane,’ and went back to sleep. February came. ‘Have you booked it yet?’ asked Peggy. I swallowed. ‘No’ March arrived. ‘Better get to it,’ she said. ‘They get booked out you know.’ I dialled the number. ‘Can we land on Sutton’s beach?’ I asked. ‘Cause that’s where my class is, they’ll be waiting for me.’ I added dreamily; ‘I’m going to parachute to class.’ The receptionist held back a yawn. ‘We can’t predict the landing beach’ she said. ‘We will let you know on the day.’ I visualised landing at Suttons. I told everyone about it. The days ticked by until it arrived. I woke up and reminded myself to breathe. I wore the boots and jeans that took me safely through Europe. I wore a shirt of happiness. We got to the office. ‘We’re not landing at Suttons’ she said as she pushed paper work towards me. My dream crashed to the earth. ‘We will be landing at Bells. Sign here please.’ But my yoga class is at Suttons? I can’t land on the other side of the peninsula. ‘Come back to the counter please, you forgot to fill out this part.’ The tears knocked on my eyes. But my friends will be at Suttons. ‘Do you want insurance? No we can’t cater to individual preferences. You wouldn’t want anyone to crash just because you want to land there would you?’ She smiled with her teeth. The room laughed as my knees trembled. I will be landing to no one. I have no friends. The room became a giant parachute zooming to earth. ‘And which package would you prefer?’ ‘I don’t know,’ I answered weakly. I want to go home. ‘Do you want photos or the DVD?’ My voice wouldn’t work. My hubby took over. ‘We’ll take this one.’ The receptionist looked at me and took my paper work, ‘I think we might put you on a later flight.’ She said. ‘Go away and come back in an hour.’ My husband took me out of the room of eyes and to a coffee shop. ‘But no one will be there’ I sobbed. ‘That wasn’t the dream.’ ‘It will be all right’ Andy said. ‘Sometimes dreams take a curve but they still turn out all right. Your friends will go to Bells, they will. I’ll be there too.’ ‘Are you sure?’ I texted my friends. I drank two and half cups of tea with too much sugar and breathed. ‘We will come’ they promised. ‘We will even leave yoga early to be there.’ I smiled and swallowed my tears. ‘Ok, let’s go back.’ When I arrived the group was being dressed for their tandem. A beautiful blonde Theresa asked if she was my partner. I smiled, ‘my best friends name is Teresa. But I’m not your partner. I’m friends with Peggy, I’m with her husband, Corey?’ my heart banged. ‘Is he here?’ She frowned and looked at the board ‘oh you mean Mac.’ A huge American with camouflage pants and a happy bandana came past ‘Are you Corey?’ Nope. ‘Gidday’ said a smiley face. ‘You must be Monica?’ ‘Corey!’ I smiled with relief and hugged him. on came the belts. ‘They’re loose’ I said. ‘I’m going to fall into the sky.’ I’ve seen a thousand movies where someone falls out of a plane and the skydivers turn into the shape of a bullet, shoot straight for them, grab hold, open their parachute and land safely to ground. ‘Will you do that?’ I asked. ‘Do what?’ Corey asked. ‘Never mind.’ But I knew he would. We climbed into the tiny plane and sat hip to hip. There was no room for cups of tea or biscuits. ‘Where’s the door?’ I gulped as my voice rose. ‘There isn’t a door?’ ‘It’s up there?’ said one of the other victims. Pointing to a plastic roller door like one that might hold out the breeze on a cool day. ‘See, it rolls down like this.’ It rattled as we took off. We reached 2000 feet. ‘I’m going to attach some belts to you now,’ said Corey. ‘Are you sure you got me?’ I asked. ‘You sure?’ ‘We’re going to practice’ he said. ‘When we jump out, you gotta lean back like this, like a banana or the cobra pose, you got it? Lean your head back, kick her legs back and away we go.’ Banana? Cobra? Oh god. Breathe. The planes voice deepened as we climbed another 2000 feet. ‘Now I’m gonna put the rest of the belts on, okay? You gotta sit on my hips like this’ I looked around and all the passengers were climbing onto their tandems. The plane got smaller and the air thinner. It felt tight. I wriggled. ‘You got me?’ ‘I got you.’ Corey switched on his wrist cam. ‘Now Monica, do you wanna sky dive with me?’ ‘Yes’ I said. We climbed to 14000 feet. The roller door flew up and a raging wind entered the cabin. I was pushed forward. The couple in front of me rolled off the bench and sat on the edge of the plane with their feet dangling into the sky. I pressed back into Corey. ‘Let go of my arms Monica. I need them to steer. Remember? Banana.’ The first couple fell out of the plane. My heart sped. I pressed deeper into Corey as he wriggled us to the edge of the bench. We fell to the floor I cringed to the edge. There was no banana. BAM We plunged into the atmosphere. The shock of a hundred tons of air slapped me in the face and body. ‘Holy F*!’ Air sucked into my body. My chest squeezed Slam. Whoosh. My skin flapped like a blanket in a tunnel wind. Sam the photographer was in front of me taking photos. He looked like a scuba diver with the camera cord in his mouth. I felt like a fish in the ocean. I could see him, but I couldn’t respond. We fluttered as we faced each other. I was nothing but a whoosh of air. Corey pulled the cord. Kaboom! We catapulted upright. ‘Take off your glasses Monica’ I took off my glasses and wiped my eyes. Breath moved into my lungs. It was beautiful. The clear ocean beneath us, a parcel of sand and spaces of green earth. I could see my friends, I laughed and waved. ‘Hello, it’s me, can you see?’ We floated to earth and landed perfectly. I lay on the ground, smiling. Bliss. Alive. Breathing. ‘You can get up now Monica’ I laughed. ‘Come on,’ said Corey, giving me a gentle push. ‘Up you get.’ I staggered up and my friends cheered. I curved towards them, I had faced mortality. ‘Champagne?’ offered Jacki. I took a sip. ‘Food?’ asked my husband. I shook my head. My stomach was as tight as a nut. We cheered and hugged. Life was sweet. ‘A toast.’ Corey came over and we had a group hug. ‘I fell out of a plane and survived.’ ‘Clink.’
Last week I had the fortunate experience of travelling to Fiji. One of the things I noticed was I had the same values and fears in Fiji that I had at home. I ate the same foods, practiced yoga and didn’t take a lot of risks. When the option came up to do a pool scuba dive, I took it only because my husband was doing it.
After collecting our tanks, masks and air regulators we sat on the green grass under a shady palm and our instructor Madi taught us the hand signals to use under water. We talked about equalising the air pressure in our heads and a little bit about sharks. Birds chirped around us, children played nearby, sunlight caught our faces. Easy peasy. The next step was putting on the gear and getting into the water. My heart started racing. ‘It’s only a pool.’ I reminded myself. ‘Put your mask on and breathe.’ instructed Madi. ‘Deflate your vest, sink to the bottom of the pool and let’s go.’ I sunk to my knees in the shallow end. Hey I can see everyone’s legs. We kicked to the deep end and I froze. What if I drown? I sat back and watched the team ahead as bubbles rose above me. ‘Come on,’ signalled Madi. I didn’t budge. ‘Come on.’ I edged forward. ‘Keep coming.’ I edged some more. The deep end swallowed me. ‘It’s not so bad, is it?’ signalled Madi. ‘Can we go up now?’ ‘That was awesome’ said my hubby. He signed up for the 12 meter ocean scuba dive for the next day. ‘Can I think about it?’ I asked. ‘No.’ said Madi. ‘I need to know right now.’ I felt the internal door of opportunity swinging. ‘Ok, I’ll come.’ ‘Great. We’ll charge it to your room. See you in the morning.’ The next morning I worried if this was my last day. I made my friend promise to look after my family. I considered writing a last will. I breathed. I squished into the wet suit and took my flippers, mask and a weight belt to help me sink to the bottom of the ocean. I was led to a van with five strangers. I put on my seatbelt. We drove to a remote spot on the island of Fiji and parked. One man and a lonely boat was rocking on the edge of the sea. A bunch of school kids were playing volley ball and swimming nearby. The man told us to wade into the ocean and climb into the boat. I was fitted with a 20 kilo air tank, regulator and told to zip up. Don’t you even want to know my name? I wondered. I could hardly breathe. We sped off the coast to a choppy part of the ocean and turned off the engine. The boat swayed. I breathed into tight spaces. I focused. I put on my flippers. ‘Sit on the edge of the boat like this,’ said Madi. ‘And fall backwards into the ocean.’ I gulped and tried to peer over the edge of the boat, but my air tank hauled me back and my flippers heaved me forward. I started to shake. Madi rolled into the ocean like James Bond, followed by stranger one, two, three and four. My husband flipped over like he’d been looking forward to this all year. Mission impossible sound track played in my ear. I trembled. I sat on the edge and took my last breath. Splosh. The sea was salty. The waves chopped into my head. ‘Over here,’ yelled Madi. ‘Hold onto this rope.’ I felt like I weighed a hundred ton. I argued with the waves as they crashed into my mouth. I was stuck between a boat and a bunch of people that looked like seals hanging onto a rope that led into the ocean with a regulator jammed in my mouth. Breathe in. Breathe out. Focus. I can do this. ‘Look at me,’ said Madi. ‘I don’t know if I can do this.’ ‘Follow me.’ Until yesterday, I had never laid eyes on this woman, and now my life was in her hands. I followed her breath by breath. There was nothing but this moment. We were one. I equalised. I breathed. I followed. I kicked. I equalised. I breathed. Madi was my soul mate. We reached the bottom of the ocean. Madi took hold of my vest and held my hand. Breathe in, breathe out. Equalise. She led me into the sea. I let go my inhibitions. A Parrot fish! Equalise. Breathe. Blue Starfish. I never knew they wrapped around coral like that? Equalise. Breathe. Kick. I expected coral to be more colourful? I’m going to have to amend my painting when I get home. Equalise. Breathe. Kick. ‘Yes I’m okay.’ I signalled to Madi. Anemone. Nemo. Oh look, a Nemo. I’m in a cartoon! He’s looking right at me. Look Andrew, a shark. He swam away. Look, another Nemo. A unicorn fish. My ears screamed. ‘My ear is hurting.’ I signalled. ‘Equalise.’ ‘I am.’ I held my nose and blew. My eardrum squealed. ‘Equalise again.’ ‘Better.’ Kick. Breathe. Equalise. Shark. Starfish. Hey I’m scuba diving. Hehe. This is so cool. Feels so weird. All these bubbles. The air tastes different; I wonder what it’s made from? Breathe. Bubbles. Kick. Swim. Bubbles are bubbly. Shark. Fish. Star fish. Coral. Black. Yellow. Red. Purple. White. The sea thinned as I followed Madi to the surface. We popped out of the ocean like a dolphin. Warm rain tapped on our heads. ‘I’m judging by all these smiles that you liked it?’ Madi asked. ‘Yep! Awesome.’ The boat roared as we sped back to our bure. I was freed from my air tank and breathing ocean air. At the dive centre I expected her to say ‘Namaste,’ or at least ask for my number, but she didn’t. Just ‘thanks very much and make sure you put your gear back.’ Air never tasted so good. I will never forget her, or the sea. ____________________ I wanted to share this story with you because it was yoga that helped me achieve this goal. Because of yoga, I knew I was strong enough to hold the tank, swim in the ocean, climb into a boat from the sea. I knew I would be able to swing my leg, use the rail, twist and turn. I used the focus we use to stay in poses to be in the moment and not let my fears take hold. I followed my breath to stay calm. Of course, I had a competent teacher holding my hand, but it was still up to me to take that hand. All of my fears were emotional. Yoga became the exponential experience that helped me overcome fears and expand my life. I could (easily) spend the rest of my life avoiding new things. Or I can use my yoga practice to take me into places that are currently unknown. This experience has inspired me to ask; what are your fears? Do you hold yourself back? Let’s explore ways to help us overcome fears to lead a more fulfilling life. Soon we will be celebrating 2012, do you have goals? Would you like to share them with me? I can be your non judgemental support person to help you reach those goals. Share them with me. Together we can reach new heights (or depths.) Namaste Publishing my first book: 'If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.' Marty McFly8/19/2011
When Marty visits 1955 for the first time, he discovers George wants to be a writer, but doesn't believe in himself. George says 'I never let anyone read my stuff, what if they didn't like it?'
I too, never published my work or let anyone read it. What if they said I couldn't do it? What if I found out I wasn't good enough? Marty says 'you know George, if you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.' When Marty comes back to the future he finds his mum and dad completely transformed. Biff comes running in with a box and says, ‘I think your books have arrived Mr McFly.’ George pulls out a book from the top. ‘Ohh, your first book’ says Lorraine. George holds up his book, turns to Marty and says ‘See Marty, if you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.’ As the truck arrived at my publishing house (our garage), I took one of the boxes, pulled out a book and said to my daughter, ‘See Madi, if you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.’ Madi rolled her eyes, 'do you have to quote Back to the Future with everything you do?' she asked. I just smiled. I got a book. A real book. Madi flicked through it, 'Hey, here's a picture of me!' she exclaimed. 'I'm in a book.' 'Yes you are' I said. I sold my first book less than a week later. I've realised that people aren't expecting me to be the best writer or artist that ever lived, they just want to feel better. As I write and illustrate my next book, Bear Yoga, I remind myself, 'its okay, you can do it, don't give up.' and each day I add a little more colour and words to the book that I hope will encourage children to practice yoga for life. I took my delorium (hyandai) out for a ride the other day, and went back to my future, there were all these people lined up to hear my reading of my latest book. I saw myself smiley and happy, I almost called out to her but remembered the time space continuum could explode the entire universe. So I just let her walk by, she seemed so happy. 'Just give me something' I said to a person nearby, 'that I can take back with me to the past and help create this future.' She looked at me weirdly (she looked a lot like someone I know). 'Don't you know?' she said. 'If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.' 'Yes,' I nodded. 'Yes I see.' I tapped on the flux capactor and it whired into action. 'Lets go.' I roared up to eighty miles per hour and arrived back in sunny Redcliffe. 'I'm back' I said to Madi, 'Back from the future.' 'Great' she said, flicking the channels on TV. 'Can you hydrate me a pizza while your up?'
I am ready to self publish 'Simply Yoga' and 'Your Perfect Body' CD.
I've outsourced the editing and graphic design and am currently speaking to China about printing costs. The CD is being replicated and printed in Melbourne and the book will come back from China. Self publishing is a journey on its own. I chose this path because I will reach more people with this book through my classes, the Activate expo and my online store. I will look for mainstream publishers for some of my other books. I had the idea for my book Simply Yoga 2007. I thought within three months it would be complete. (hah!) I drove to Sydney to visit my photographer friend and we spent a day shooting photos. In 2008 we took them again and in 2009 I finished (I thought) the book. It was revised and edited in 2010 and revised and edited in 2011. Now it is in its final editing phase and within a month we will see a printed book YEY! Book launch coming soon.. The CD on the other hand has been milling around in my mind for almsot 20 years. Back then recording was extremely expensive-thousands of dollars. In 2007 I bought a microphone for 100 dollars, downloaded audacity onto my computer and recorded it myself. I spent several months editing the recording until I was happy with the final product. I created the original CD cover and printed all of the copies I sold for the next few years. My graphic designer, Jamie Palmer has re done the cover to match Simply Yoga. I can't wait to see my babies that have taken so long to form from the idea to the manifestation. Soon they will be here in my hands, and soon after, perhaps in yours. Yey, how exciting! When I first decided to create a portrait of Madeleine to enter into the Doug Moran I pretty much had no idea what I was doing. We built the frame after watching a youtube video and then I drew the picture on the canvas in pencil and away I went. The art school I was attending closed down before I could start the oil painting class so I was going by what I remembered and heard and could figure out. I made tons of mistakes but in the end I thought I had a nice portrait. The judges rejected my portrait and I was disapointed at first, but I didn't want to think about 'failing' so I kept thinking about how much fun it would be anyway, and how nice its going to be when I have a portrait of Madeleine hanging in the Tweed River art gallery. Madeleine was born in the Tweed River and I really wanted her painting to be hung in the gallery there. Not to mention the Doug Moran portrait competition holds the highest dollar value for any portrait prize in the world (150 thousand) and I was up against the best artists in Australia. 700 people enter every year and only 30 are selected. I decided it didn't matter what the 'truth' was (she wasn't accepted) and kept imagining how good it would be to see her chosen. One day it occured to me I could improve the painting and enter it in 2011. So out came the paint and now I had a little more knowledge cause I started art classes at Atellier. It was tough to paint over a painting I'd spent months on allready, but I decided to be bold and brave and just do it. I repainted the face arms, curtains, wall and added a teddy bear. The colours Nick showed me were SO much better than the scheme I'd been using and the portrait came out much better. After another 50 hours she was ready to enter again. She leaves in 6 days to go before the judges. Hoping to be accepted this year, and if I'm not, there's always next year. Watching the floods on TV became more real as they closed in on us. By the time our suburb was given a warning, I was beside myself with fear and 'what to do.'
The family was away and safe, and even though I knew our suburb was safe and we lived high on a hill, I had the worries. The day before I had been listening to Mozart whilst lightening flashed and thunder rolled. I had my sketch pad out and was painting my youngest daughter in a green pea pod floating down a river. But now I was looking for ways to bring the entire house from downstairs to up. I looked around me and knew I couldn't do it. I faced the fear that thousands had faced in the last few weeks, perhaps I will lose everything, and so I went to bed. The morning came and the rain was still drumming. I waited for the predicted king tide. It came and went. We were safe. The relief and desire to help those affected bloomed. I wasn't the only one, on day one of the cleanup there were 20,000 volounteers. on day two, 100,000.00. There was no room for more people, so we donated instead from our houses, pockets, bank accounts and businesses. My yoga class started that week. the beach was awash with branches, a pontoon, household items and animals that couldn't survive. Yoga by the sea that held such catastrophe was testimony to the human spirit. Many people came out of their homes to return to that place of peace. Bob cats hummed around us as the cleanup continued. When the sun came out, you wouldn't know that just down the road peoples lives had been destroyed and once homes were now mud. Compassion is rebuilding what once was and homes will be once more. Began first day at Atelier Art classes today. Model Rebekah will be in the same pose for five hours a session for five weeks. Wow! I am excited about improving my drawing techniques and my painterly techniques. I haven't had a lot of life drawing tuition or painting tuition so I'm hoping this will be the big break I need to become a better artist, So i can paint without going mad about what happens next. Instead of thinking, what colour goes with what and how do you do that? i'll know. or will i? maybe its a guessing game to every artist?
After a short warm up of drawing (which we missed) Rebekah was put into pose and arranged. Scott showed us how to get started then Nick gave us some techniques for 'enveloping' the model and begin structuring the body. we spent at least two hours making marks where the body parts go and the distant between each other. by the end of session one, we had the outline of the body and face. It takes a lot more time in a long pose, but worth it. Looking forward to seeing how my drawings and paintings look in one year. |
About Monica
GreetI am a yoga teacher, author and artist. Blogs by Monica
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